Remember that time I belly-flopped two metres onto stone tiles? Yeah, I try not to think about it either. And then I’m deleting photos and I come across these beauties. You’re welcome.


I attempt to climb trees in my spare time to make up for my childhood.


That time I flew.



I have 101 Dalmatians PJ’s. Your argument is invalid.


Morning bitches.


Hair. A lot of it.



Practice makes perfect. Believable forced-smile perfect. See tags.


Just working my pink Speedo’s, no big deal.


I’m going to a birthday “party” tonight which has the dubious theme of the Titanic. I’m going as a first-class passenger because I’m classy like that and I’m wearing a life-jacket because I also have an original sense of humour. Well, goodnight.